how to win over a woman according to twilight:

kittivanilli:

carinaavila:

stalk her. be emotionally abusive, force her hand into marriage because she wants to fuck your brains out, impregnate her with a demon baby who you have to EAT OUT (lol eat out) OF HER UTERUS, have your bff werewolf fall in love with your baby.

also, make sure she’s barely legal and you’re 600 years old.

Um. Is that really what happens?

Fuck.

it always works for me. god i’m hungry just thinking about it.

3 months ago
  1. callmemrpeerpressured reblogged this from jimmywhacked
  2. jimmywhacked reblogged this from spacecataz and added:
    Hahahahaha haha hahahaha hahahaha ha…
  3. thingsofthesky reblogged this from teethlikegodsshoeshine and added:
    Yessssss seriously so pumped for New Moon.
  4. aaronextremely reblogged this from laceypanties and added:
    Twilight should jump off a bridge, be ripped to shreds and burned…
  5. teethlikegodsshoeshine reblogged this from oceanofstars
  6. laceypanties reblogged this from spacecataz
  7. oceanofstars reblogged this from watchingthedialtone
  8. tjmarsh reblogged this from niub
  9. no-dairy-no-eggs reblogged this from spacecataz
  10. briannalauren reblogged this from sarahmary
  11. tralalalicia reblogged this from extraquietsilence
  12. xynephionnoir reblogged this from niub and added:
    Actually, I think you’re probably WAY beyond Twilight’s intelligence.
  13. calamityking reblogged this from kittivanilli and added:
    it always works for me. god i’m hungry just thinking about it.